A cancer diagnosis is life-changing on many levels. It ushers in a whirlwind of questions, appointments and uncertainty, along with physical and emotional changes.<\/p>\n
While it\u2019s common to hear about side effects like fatigue, hair loss or nausea, what to expect with sexual health often remains unspoken. For people with cancer and their partners, this silence can lead to misunderstandings and isolation.<\/p>\n
But intimacy and sexual health are essential parts of your overall well-being, and they deserve space in the conversation, too.<\/p>\n
Joseph Mitrovich, PsyD<\/a>, a clinical psychologist with MultiCare Cancer Institute<\/a>, says it\u2019s not uncommon to hear from patients who\u2019ve experienced a disconnect in their intimate relationships while navigating their cancer diagnosis and treatment.<\/p>\n \u201cEven though sexual health issues can be more prevalent with certain diagnoses, like breast cancer for women or prostate cancer for men, these challenges can occur with any type of cancer,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich says.<\/p>\n Cancer treatment often changes how a person sees and feels about their body. Weight loss, surgical scars, hair loss, mastectomies, having an ostomy bag or other physical changes can affect self-image, confidence and connection with a partner, which can become obstacles to intimacy.<\/p>\n Symptoms women may experience include pain with penetration, vaginal dryness or early menopause, while men may face erectile dysfunction or loss of ejaculation.<\/p>\n Depending on the type of cancer, both men and women may experience pelvic floor pain, bowel and urinary dysfunction, as well as lymphedema (swelling caused by the buildup of lymph fluid) that can cause pain and discomfort.<\/p>\n Any of these symptoms \u2014 as well as body image issues \u2014 can cause arousal difficulties, loss of libido and low sexual self-esteem.<\/p>\n One of the biggest obstacles to intimacy after a cancer diagnosis is lack of communication between partners.<\/p>\n Often, one person may avoid intimacy altogether without explaining why, while the other is left feeling rejected or confused.\u00a0Some may be uncertain about what is physically possible during or after treatment.<\/p>\n Either partner may internalize assumptions that become barriers to intimacy.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve had patients tell me things like, \u2018I don\u2019t feel attractive anymore\u2019 or \u2018My partner wouldn\u2019t want to be with me because it\u2019s gross that I have an ostomy bag,\u2019\u201d Dr. Mitrovich explains.<\/p>\n \u201cUsing evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy, patients examine their beliefs about how their body has changed and how these beliefs affect their feelings and behaviors,\u201d he says. \u201cOften, they discover their assumptions don\u2019t align with how their partner actually feels.\u201d<\/p>\n Having an open, honest and nonjudgmental conversation with your partner or including them in a discussion with a counselor, if they\u2019re open to it, can be powerful ways to break down this barrier.<\/p>\n \u201cMany are surprised to hear that their partner had no idea they felt that way and still very much find them attractive,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich adds.<\/p>\n Before diagnosis, sex and intimacy may have felt more spontaneous or effortless. When dealing with illness and treatment side effects, however, it\u2019s important to be deliberate with intimacy.<\/p>\n \u201cI encourage couples to take an intentional approach to reconnecting,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich says. \u201cWe talk about taking the focus off intercourse and discuss other types of intimacy. Maybe it starts with cuddling or holding hands.\u201d<\/p>\n Rather than abandoning intimacy because it doesn\u2019t look like it used to, treat it as a process of rediscovery.\u00a0This broader approach to intimacy recognizes there\u2019s an emotional component in addition to physical intimacy.<\/p>\n \u201cSomeone with cancer may feel pressure to appear stoic for their partner \u2014 they may put on a brave face and say they\u2019re doing OK because they know their partner is worrying about them,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich explains.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the partner isn\u2019t sure how to help and goes into cheerleader mode, offering upbeat encouragement.<\/p>\n \u201cAlthough it\u2019s well-intentioned, this is sometimes not consistent with what the patient is experiencing and feeling,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich says. \u201cWhen you have each side in those positions, an emotional disconnect takes place, which can affect sexual health and intimacy.\u201d<\/p>\n Building on emotional intimacy by being transparent and authentic \u2014 sharing fears, hopes and vulnerabilities \u2014 can help pave the way to physical intimacy.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen a couple starts feeling more emotionally connected, there\u2019s a closeness that starts to be felt again that facilitates the physical aspect,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich adds.<\/p>\n Beyond emotional and communication work, medical interventions can address specific physical difficulties.<\/p>\n \u201cMany patients don\u2019t realize that medical solutions exist for their specific concerns, or they may be too embarrassed to ask,\u201d Dr. Mitrovich says.<\/p>\n Men with erectile dysfunction, for instance, may benefit from medications or devices like a penile pump. Women experiencing vaginal dryness or pain may find relief through lubricants, dilators or pelvic floor physical therapy.<\/p>\n In addition, medications, injections or nerve blocks can help with pain, and certified lymphedema therapists can assist with symptom management.<\/p>\n Sexual health and intimacy issues are deeply personal but also incredibly common, normal responses to cancer and its treatment. If you\u2019re navigating these issues, know you\u2019re not alone and help is available.<\/p>\n Start by discussing your concerns with your oncology team; they can refer you to specialists who can address your particular needs. While the conversation may feel awkward at first, remember that your team wants to support you and your quality of life.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A cancer diagnosis is life-changing on many levels. It ushers in a whirlwind of questions, appointments and uncertainty, along with physical and emotional changes. While it\u2019s common to hear about side effects like fatigue, hair loss or nausea, what to expect with sexual health often remains unspoken. For people with cancer and their partners, this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":451,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[165],"class_list":["post-38263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cancer","tag-breast-cancer"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCancer\u2019s physical impact on sexual health<\/strong><\/h2>\n
The communication barrier and its impact on intimacy<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Being intentional about intimacy can help<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Medical resources for the physical challenges of cancer<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Normalizing the conversation about intimacy after cancer<\/strong><\/h2>\n