{"id":7775,"date":"2020-11-20T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-20T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prd-www.mccdn.io\/vitals\/?p=7775"},"modified":"2024-03-13T17:09:20","modified_gmt":"2024-03-13T17:09:20","slug":"difficult-conversations-talking-to-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/updates-www.mccdn.io\/vitals\/difficult-conversations-talking-to-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Difficult conversations: Talking to friends and family about COVID-19 and the holidays","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"<p>With the continued spread of COVID-19 across the country, our holiday season is going to be a lot different than we are used to. In Washington state, indoor social gatherings are restricted and outdoor gatherings are limited until at least Dec. 14, and the state&#8217;s travel advisory asks residents to stick close to home for the time being (and to quarantine for 14 days if you do leave the state).<\/p>\n<p>That won&#8217;t stop some people from wanting to get together, or for your out-of-state relatives to pressure you to &#8220;come home for the holidays.&#8221; Having to tell people you care about that you won&#8217;t be seeing them in person this year, or that you won&#8217;t be able to attend their annual holiday party can be tough.<\/p>\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/doh.wa.gov\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Washington State Department of Health<\/a> has put together some guidance you can use to help make it easier to have &#8220;The COVID Chat.&#8221; Here are some excerpts.<\/p>\n<h2>How to respectfully say \u201cNo\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>Saying no to people you love is never easy. And as the pandemic drags on, it\u2019s probably feeling harder than ever to pass up the opportunity to gather with family or friends and get a little taste of normal. But knowing how \u2013 and when \u2013 to say no is the first step to protecting your health and the health of the people you care about. Here are a few tools to help with these situations:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Be clear.<\/strong> Saying no effectively starts with just that \u2014 saying no. A simple, direct no is the best way to make yourself understood and closes the door for negotiations.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Offer alternatives<\/strong>.\u00a0Ask if there is another way to connect with the person who invites you to a gathering. Acknowledge you really want to see them but want to keep everyone safe. \u201cI wish we could get together, but I don\u2019t want to do anything to risk you or my family\/myself getting sick.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t feel pressured to keep the conversation going<\/strong>. Your \u201cno\u201d is enough. If you get pushed for more reasons or are accused of being unkind or selfish, you aren\u2019t obligated to reply. It\u2019s ok to say something like \u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re upset, but this is my decision and I need you to respect it\u201d \u2014 and leave it at that.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Gathering ground rules<\/h2>\n<p>This season, the safest decision for you and your family and friends is not to gather with people you don&#8217;t live with. Of course, not every decision about getting together is a simple \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno.\u201d You might get an invitation and have a lot of questions about the details: Is it outdoors? How many people will be there? Will everyone be wearing masks?<\/p>\n<p>To avoid surprises, hurt feelings, or situations where you feel unsafe, be sure to set expectations in advance. Here\u2019s how:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Be clear about your boundaries<\/strong>. It can feel uncomfortable to ask a lot of specific questions about an event. Instead, you can simply explain what you would feel safe doing. For example, \u201cI\u2019d love to come, but I want to be sure I\u2019ll feel safe. If everyone will be outside, wearing masks and spread out, I\u2019ll be there for an hour or so.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>It\u2019s okay to offer alternatives.<\/strong> You can always suggest another way to get together that feels more comfortable. Just be sure to set expectations up front by saying something like, \u201cI\u2019m really not comfortable with gatherings in person right now, but I\u2019d love to see you another time. Would you be up for a virtual chat?\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>There\u2019s no need to negotiate<\/strong>. If it\u2019s clear that a certain gathering isn\u2019t going to work for you, it\u2019s ok to say no. If someone pushes back, don\u2019t feel obligated to have a debate. You can keep your response as simple as \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but I\u2019m just not comfortable with that right now. I love you and miss you too and I look forward to seeing you another time!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not sure how to talk to your loved ones about holiday travel or gatherings? These tips can help.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":123,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-covid-19"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.6 (Yoast SEO v27.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Difficult conversations: Talking to friends and family about COVID-19 and the holidays - MultiCare Vitals<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/updates-www.mccdn.io\/vitals\/difficult-conversations-talking-to-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Difficult conversations: Talking to friends and family about COVID-19 and the holidays - MultiCare Vitals\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Not sure how to talk to your loved ones about holiday travel or gatherings? 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