Often in our current world both news and social media offer information that\u2019s concerning and incredibly distressing, from families struggling to meet basic needs to political unrest, protests, shootings and other tragedies.<\/p>\n
Managing distress related to this unrelenting stream of events in our nation can be challenging for adults and children. Parents may struggle with how to talk to their children when overwhelming events take place and are shown in the news and on social media. Below are a few suggested guidelines to support our youth.<\/p>\n
When sitting down to have conversations with your child, remember that your adult perspective on events is likely different from how your child is processing what they\u2019re seeing. Approach any conversation with respect to your child\u2019s age, development and individual need for information.<\/p>\n
Young children\u00a0need to know they are safe. They may wonder why adults are distressed. Their world is understood through the lens of their own internal perspective, and offering a lot of additional context may not always be helpful. In some cases, it may even add to their anxiety. It\u2019s important to allow your child to set the pace.<\/p>\n
Start by asking open-ended questions related to events and check in about feelings: \u201cHave you seen the news?\u201d \u201cWhat do you understand about what\u2019s happening? How are you feeling?\u201d \u201cAre you and your friends talking about the news at school?\u201d<\/p>\n
Listen to your child\u2019s response and provide answers to any questions while correcting any misinformation. One- to two-sentence answers to questions are generally recommended, which allow your child to ask the next question as a signal that they\u2019d like more information.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s OK if conversations are brief; check in within a few days about how your child feels about the conversation and whether they have additional questions. This reinforces that you respect your child\u2019s boundaries while showing you remain available to talk at a later time.<\/p>\n
Provide concrete information that\u2019s relatable to your child. For example, when discussing a protest that becomes violent, you might say some people are feeling very upset and angry and wish to express their anger, but \u2014 while it\u2019s important to speak up and advocate for what\u2019s important to our beliefs \u2014 destroying property, harming others or eliciting violence is never OK.<\/p>\n
Older children\u00a0may be able to relate more of the information they\u2019re seeing to the broader world around them. They may be more observant of their parents\u2019 emotions and need to understand or discuss why this is distressing at home.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important to not avoid conversations with older children. When information is missing, children may fill in gaps inaccurately, which can lead to increased stress and worry. Ensure that children have key messages about their safety and the safety of their family and loved ones, and continue to check in about how they\u2019re feeling. You are your child\u2019s safe harbor, and they will take cues from you.<\/p>\n
Teenagers\u00a0will not only be interested in sharing their views on what\u2019s happening, but may also be interested in taking action. Opportunities to advocate might include simple conversations with others, virtual community forums and events, discussions at school and within the classroom, and advocacy at a legislative level through phone calls or letters.<\/p>\n
While distressing and worrisome, events happening now in the world provide opportunities for parents to discuss strategies for negotiating conflict. Though challenging and difficult to understand at times, differences of opinion are common. We will not always agree with those we encounter. Those with alternative perspectives reveal opportunities for learning, healthy self-reflection about our own internal beliefs, and the chance to advocate and take action for what we feel is right.<\/p>\n
Anyone with a teenager will relate to the fact that heated discussions about ideas and beliefs, while stressful, also pose opportunities for growth. Consider what you wish your child to understand about your own beliefs and how to negotiate differences with friends and peers in ways that are safe, nonviolent and meaningful in impacting positive change for all in our community.<\/p>\n
We are all dealing with increased stress and will have individualized ways of expressing that stress. Our children will not only notice our stress but also have their own response to what they\u2019re witnessing. General guidelines to promote healthy stress management include monitoring both TV and social media exposure, reassuring children about safety at home and within the community, helping them focus on what they can and cannot impact and control, and enhancing daily structure.<\/p>\n
Our nation feels very unpredictable right now. Both adults and children will find comfort and solace in familiar routines and patterns that can increase our sense of predictability. Rest, exercise, time with loved ones and the occasional retreat into distraction are not only helpful but important in restoring ourselves. And when children feel the need to act and do more to support others who are struggling in the world, opportunities abound to engage in acts of service and kindness and can help children feel empowered that they\u2019re working to make the world a gentler place.<\/p>\n