R.I.S.E. Northwest: A safe space for grieving kids to heal & connect

Losing a parent at any age is devastating for most people. For young children and teens, though, the impact of such a loss can have lifelong ripple effects.

It’s easy to assume the loss of a parent won’t impact a child because of their age, but kids understand much more than adults may realize, explains Karly Monteith, director of program development at R.I.S.E. Northwest.

R.I.S.E. is a Spokane-based nonprofit that provides support services to children who have lost one or both parents.

“Young children are impacted by loss in many ways,” Monteith says. “Even if a child loses a parent as a baby, they still experience grief. Their routine is disrupted; one of their primary caregivers is gone; and their remaining caregiver is often navigating their own grief.

“The loss of a parent completely reshapes a child’s sense of normal,” she continues. “Even if they are too young to remember the parent who died, they will still feel the impact through changes in their environment and relationships.”

Alex Hays knows firsthand the truth of that experience. Hays lost his mother when he was 2 and his father in his late 20s.

Navigating grief as a child

“I was very young when my mom died and I didn’t remember the event, but I remember growing up without a mom and going through each stage of life feeling a bit more isolated than the others around me,” explains Hays, a R.I.S.E. board member and former volunteer mentor.

“I’m sure there were other kids like me, but it wasn’t something you brought up,” he continues. “Finding someone I could relate to would have been so beneficial. Maybe I wouldn’t have seen it as such an isolating aspect of my life.”

Years later as an adult, Hays saw Tracy Gyllenhammer, R.I.S.E. founder and executive director, on the local news speaking about the organization.

“When I heard there was a program for kids to have a safe community to talk through this, something I never had when I was younger, a place to share experiences and grief with others, that was something I wanted,” he says, “so I figured, why don’t I be a part of it now?”

Teens sit in a circle in the grass, R.I.S.E. participants gather during one of their monthly group meetings.

Two weeks later, Hays was training as a volunteer mentor.

For R.I.S.E., having volunteers and staff like Hays helps meet its biggest goal: connecting grieving kids with others who understand what they’re going through.

Challenges around mental health, schooling and relationships are just some of the effects of losing a parent at a young age. But recognizing how isolating it can be is why R.I.S.E. wants to ensure every kid has someone they can talk to and connect with, says Valerie Shayman Southerland, PhD, senior director of program strategy for the organization.

R.I.S.E. provides support & connection to grieving youth

Grief counseling is something you don’t think about until you need it.

For R.I.S.E. founder Gyllenhammer, that time came after the death of her first husband as she tried to help her two young sons navigate the loss.

When she later met her now-husband, who had also lost his partner and was raising three boys on his own. Gyllenhammer saw the positive impact of her boys talking with other kids going through the same thing. That’s where the idea for R.I.S.E. began.

Team R.I.S.E. provides a safe and supportive space with trained staff and mentors. Grieving children and teens can talk to others with similar losses, or just listen, explains Dr. Southerland. Programming focuses on helping kids process their grief, develop healthy coping skills and build community.

R.I.S.E. hosts twice-monthly free meetings at alternating locations in Spokane Valley and north Spokane. The meetings are open to children through age 17, but R.I.S.E. staff hope to add programming for young adults 18-24 in the future.

During the 2025-2026 academic school year so far, Team R.I.S.E. has served 50 children and teens. Guided by thoughtful, open-ended questions and prompts, kids talk with each other and their mentors and journal or do other creative activities, explains Afsoon Salehpour, R.I.S.E. volunteer mentor and Gonzaga University senior. They also spend time participating in group activities to bond with one another and hopefully increase their comfort opening up.

“Kids find connection, stability and a sense of belonging during a time that can feel incredibly isolated. That kind of environment is rare, and it stays with them as they grow … even into college, these are lifelong relationships.”

So much of the success of R.I.S.E.’s model is built on forming connections.

“We are genuinely building relationships with these kids and watching them grow. We’re not just clocking volunteer hours,” Salehpour says. “We know these kids and their experiences, so we know how to walk them through those questions, even the harder ones.”

Most important, kids are met wherever they are in the grieving journey, adds Monteith.

Grief is individual, but you shouldn’t do it alone

“We’re giving them meaningful opportunities to process and cope with their loss,” Monteith explains. “As children enter school, they become more aware of their peers and begin to notice differences. A core part of R.I.S.E.’s approach is creating a space where children can explore their feelings while also realizing they are not alone in their experience.”

Studies show that children who lose a parent are at increased risk of developing depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder, Dr. Southerland adds. The risk for developing a mental health condition is even higher in children of color who have lost a parent.

Children’s education can also be affected, including lower grades and less likelihood of enrolling in and completing higher education, she adds.

Grief can be overwhelming and take time to process, which is why R.I.S.E. focuses on tailoring its sessions to each kid’s individual needs.

“We want to serve their personalized needs. If children want a caregiver to attend their initial sessions with them as they acclimate to the group, we welcome them. If they do not feel ready to verbally participate in group discussions, that is completely accepted,” Dr. Southerland says. “We want every child to feel safe as they process their grief, and we take an individualized approach to ensuring we do so.”

This isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey, says Julie Morin, owner of Positive Impact Grants and partner of R.I.S.E.

“What sets R.I.S.E. apart is how personal and intentional everything is,” she adds. “It’s trauma-informed, relationship-based and built around trust. … Having support like this, especially early on, can change the trajectory of how someone processes grief. It gives both children and caregivers space to heal, at their own pace, with people who truly understand.”

Kids and adults playing cup and string activity, R.I.S.E. participants join their mentors in a skill-building and bonding activity during one of their monthly group meetings.

You can also see how much this space means to the kids, Morin says. Sometimes the surviving parent is going through a lot with their own grief, and it can be hard for a child to lean on them. R.I.S.E. is a place for everyone to find support. Parents and caregivers often form connections with one another outside the group, as well.

“Kids find connection, stability and a sense of belonging during a time that can feel incredibly isolated,” she adds. “That kind of environment is rare, and it stays with them as they grow … even into college, these are lifelong relationships.”

Support & healing is about little wins along the way

Grief is fluid and may come and go throughout life, but strengthening a child’s emotional regulation and coping skills from the start can set them up better for the long-term, Dr. Southerland explains.

“I’m seeing 4-year-olds learning how to articulate their stories, feelings and how they could respond in that moment,” she says. “We’re giving them concrete terms they need and not being dismissive of the reality.”

Day by day, that looks different for each child. Small wins are what R.I.S.E. aims to accumulate, Hays adds. Like a kid finally opening up or playing with others for the first time, the moments may look small, but they add up.

On first meeting, many of the kids Salehpour works with are quiet and keep to themselves, but as they start to get comfortable and participate more, she hears from families about how excited they are to come back.

“Seeing the kids from when they first start through to now has been pretty amazing … there’s a lot of joy in the program despite the grief, and it’s cool to see how strong these kids are and the mental strength they’ve built,” she says. “These children are the next generation, and we need to support them to be happy and healthy mentally.”