5 mental health words you may be using wrong

Over the past decade, the conversation around mental health has grown tremendously — much of that thanks to social media.

“(Social media) has helped spread awareness and in getting rid of some of the stigmas,” says Madison Birdsell, peer support specialist, MultiCare Behavioral Health – Northeast Community Center. “I’ve had people come in to see me because of what they saw on TikTok — it encouraged them to ask questions about themselves.”

But discussions around mental health can easily be misinformed when relying on social media as a source. How you use terms from those conversations may cause more harm than good.

“There’s a lot of good in spreading accurate information … just check your sources,” Birdsell says. “Oftentimes we may hear a word on social media or from others, and because it’s something new that we think fits our situation, we use it, and it feels validating.”

Misusing some of these words — especially those that involve life-altering diagnoses — diminishes the value of others’ experiences, she adds.

Let’s break down some of the terms commonly misused.

Triggered

Triggers are an experience — whether from a physical sensation, a specific situation or words, images and smells — that bring someone back to a traumatic event or moment in their life, says Birdsell.

As a trained specialist, she helps patients work through what their triggers may be and how to cope in situations when triggers are presented.

“But many people are using it in a sense of ‘Oh, I got triggered because I saw something sad,’” Birdsell explains.

In many cases, people may find it easier to say “That triggered me” than to be vulnerable and talk about how they’re feeling and reacting to something, she adds.

Using triggered as an everyday word can be dismissive to those who struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Gaslighting

Misuse of the word gaslighting typically arises during a genuine misunderstanding between two people, explains Birdsell.

For example, you may remember something happening one way, but the other person remembers differently. To say they’re gaslighting you in this situation would be incorrect.

Gaslighting comes into play when one person intentionally and deliberately manipulates another to either question their actions and behaviors, or believe what that person says over anything else, Birdsell adds.

People often use gaslighting as a scapegoat if their own feelings or opinions aren’t validated by another person, she says.

Toxic

While you may seek professional support during or after an unhealthy relationship, it’s important to remember that toxic is not a diagnosis of you or the other person.

“We don’t use ‘toxic’ clinically, but rather look at the behaviors that disrespect someone’s emotional and physical boundaries,” Birdsell says.

Another person may have unhealthy behaviors you don’t like, but toxic is not the entirety of who they are, she explains. It can be harmful to generalize and profile yourself or others that way.

Instead, take the opportunity to talk about your boundaries and how you can foster a healthier relationship — or decide to part ways.

Narcissist

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which must be diagnosed by a professional, is characterized by someone who continuously demonstrates behaviors that lack empathy or are driven by ego, Birdsell explains.

“People will often wrongly use the word ‘narcissist’ during a one-time event, like ‘Someone was selfish once, so they’re a narcissist,’” she says. “But narcissistic personality disorder is a constant thing. It impacts their daily life and how they treat those around them.”

Just because someone acted in such a way one time doesn’t mean they’re a narcissist, she adds. It can be incredibly damaging to wrongly name someone a narcissist — and it’s dismissive to those living with NPD.

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Just like calling someone a narcissist, to say you or someone else has OCD without a clinical diagnosis can be damaging to those living with this disorder.

“When it comes to OCD, it’s a disorder and not by choice,” Birdsell says. “It’s not that you’re a little organized or have a habit. For most people with OCD, it impacts their life to the point you can’t function if you don’t do something — even think it will be life and death for you and those around you if you don’t do this.”

During the COVID-19 pandemic, people became more aware of germs, and many picked up more thorough cleaning practices. In response, they may say “I’ve become so OCD about cleaning.”

To wrongly compare yourself to such an extreme, life-altering challenge minimizes it for those for whom it’s not a choice, Birdsell adds.

Ask for help if you’re concerned

Find a provider

If you’re concerned about something you’re experiencing or feeling, always look to a professional for help rather than doing your own online research. Don’t let a self-diagnosis lead to harmful self-medicating, she says. Some of these conditions require lifelong treatment that may involve support by a professional.

If you’re worried about loved ones and want to talk about these topics constructively, Birdsell encourages taking a neutral, non-accusatory approach. Be transparent and honest, and know when to ask for or suggest professional support.