Perinatal Support Washington: You are not alone

Welcoming a new child into your family brings a mix of emotions — from happiness and excitement to anxiety and overwhelm. The good news is you don’t have to face any of it alone.

Asking for help when times are hard, though, is its own challenge. Perinatal Support Washington is on a mission to change that.

Perinatal Support Washington (PS-WA) is a statewide nonprofit committed to shining a light on perinatal mental health by supporting families through all stages of their journeys, including the transition to parenthood as well as infertility, loss and trauma.

PS-WA operates the Parent Support Warm Line; provides therapy, support groups and culturally matched one-on-one peer support; and serves as a point of contact for health care providers seeking support for patients, explains Kimiko Goldberg, PS-WA development and communications manager.

“A lot of people use the term ‘baby blues’ after birth, and while that is real, it usually resolves after the first couple of weeks. What we’re talking about is something that lasts longer, and people need help identifying what they’re feeling,” Goldberg says. “The main thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone. People are afraid to ask for help, but there’s a whole community of people who are ready to help and have been through it, too.”

You’re not alone

Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) are the most common complication of pregnancy and a leading cause of pregnancy-related deaths, Goldberg says. PMADs can also affect non-birthing parents and partners.

The prevalence and severity of PMADs speak for themselves:

• One in five women will be diagnosed with a PMAD
• One in 10 men/non-birthing partners will be diagnosed with a PMAD
• 75 percent of PMAD instances are untreated
• Approximately 22 percent of pregnancy-related deaths are the result of PMADs

“It’s important to know how critically important this situation is,” Goldberg says. “It’s especially important through all stages, because people with preexisting conditions are more likely to get a PMAD.”

Normalizing the mental health conversation before someone begins their perinatal journey is key to keeping people safe throughout, she adds.

But PS-WA staff understand that’s easier said than done.

“There’s the stigma and so many other layers of why someone is not asking for help,” explains Karina Saunders, MEd, community outreach and training manager for PS-WA. “We believe we’re supposed to be happy and enjoying everything, and there’s a sense of shame when you aren’t having that.”

“The main thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone. People are afraid to ask for help, but there’s a whole community of people who are ready to help and have been through it, too.”

You may feel pressure to meet cultural expectations, struggle with trusting or accessing health care, worry there’s something wrong with you, or fear that if you name what you’re experiencing your child will be taken away, Saunders says.

“There’s pressure in society to ‘suck it up.’ Moms are expected to do it all,” Goldberg adds. “But these factors that make people afraid to ask for help can be detrimental. They can last for years, and the secondary effects can last a lifetime.”

Finding a resource, whether that’s friends, family, your health care provider or an organization like PS-WA, takes trust.

Exhaling for the first time

PS-WA’s Parent Support Warm Line is staffed Monday through Friday, 9am-4:30pm, with prompt callbacks on evenings and weekends in English and Spanish, and includes birthing and non-birthing parents to meet every caller’s needs.

“Calling a line like ours takes a lot of courage, and often takes (people) getting to a really hard place,” explains Victoria Cherniak, MSW, PS-WA senior warm-line manager. “The biggest thing we offer is nonjudgmental listening. It’s about having someone to hold space for you, especially if you have guilt or shame for how you’re feeling.”

Women are fed a message that they have to be selfless, so they internalize those challenges out of shame or fear that they’re a “bad parent,” she says. That’s not sustainable.

“For a lot of people, they haven’t told anyone what they’re feeling, or if they did, it got written off,” Cherniak adds. “When I went in to see my therapist after my son, it was a traumatic birth and I knew I needed help. I was there within the week of delivering and was told ‘at least you have a healthy baby.’ So, who else could I tell that to?”

When you’re able to finally tell someone what you’re feeling and truly be heard, there’s often a huge sigh of relief, explains Erin Reidy, PS-WA warm-line volunteer.

“I had multiple miscarriages before my daughter, and when I was pregnant, my anxiety was through the roof, but I didn’t know perinatal anxiety was really a thing,” Reidy says. “My OB would remark as I got past phases (in pregnancy) that I hadn’t before and would mention my anxiety level … looking back, why didn’t I get referred to someone for that?”

As her anxiety got worse, Reidy says she just figured that’s what parenthood was.

“My mother had perinatal anxiety for her entire life after a stillbirth. It wasn’t called that back then, but I knew as a kid she had anxiety,” she says. “But as an adult, I didn’t even connect those dots myself after seeing her experience.”

Those shared experiences are what makes the PS-WA Warm Line unique, Cherniak says. And at the end of a call, you’re provided a plan that includes wellness and self-care planning, referrals and next steps.

Ready to find support? Call or text 888-404-7763

Learn more about the Warm Line

Reasons for calling can be whatever you may need in the moment. People call because they’re struggling with feeding; feeling overwhelmed, anxious or depressed; or they’ve just experienced a miscarriage or are dealing with infertility, Cherniak explains. Some people call because they’re concerned about their partner or are struggling with the changes parenthood has brought to their relationship.

“So much of being a parent today is doing it outside of your community,” Reidy adds. “You likely don’t live near family anymore and you’re feeling isolated and not knowing how to connect.”

The people on the other end of the Warm Line have been through the same things, Cherniak says.

Normalize the conversation

“The more we talk, the more things become normalized,” Goldberg says.

Pregnancy and birth can impact everyone in a family, Saunders adds. But just the same, everyone from the family to the care team can help spot the warning signs.

“What if there is birth trauma? That can be even more traumatic for the partner to have that loss and see that happen to someone they love,” she says. “Providers can offer tools and encourage them to reach out for support, too.”

PS-WA also focuses on training health care professionals inside and outside the perinatal field to have these conversations and refer patients to support services sooner than later.

“We offer a lot of free trainings for providers and for anyone who is interacting with someone who is on that parenthood journey,” Saunders says. “A big piece of that is just listening and paying attention to the patient … and knowing about the resources and pathways to get people support when they need it.”

When the conversation around mental health and PMADs is normalized, you’ll see just how common and treatable they are, but most of all, how it’s nothing to be ashamed of, she adds.

“Partnering for healing and a healthy future” is MultiCare’s mission, and it inspires us to form connections that help improve the quality of life for our communities. Community organizations all around us are doing amazing work, and we’re inspired and excited to support that work.

Stories from our Community is an ongoing series conceived to dive into some of these organizations*, bring their stories to life and spread the word about how they are making our communities better.

*Some of the organizations profiled in this series are recipients of MultiCare’s Community Partnership Fund, which awards funds to nonprofit organizations working on initiatives, programs and projects that improve our community.