Can your heart skip a beat? And other questions about love

How would you describe the feeling of love?

Words like “comforting,” “happiness” or “passion” may come to mind. But how do you feel physically?

Whether it’s love for your partner, family, a friend or even your furry companion, such feelings can ignite something more in the body.

MultiCare Rockwood Clinic clinical psychologist Kim Chupurdia, PhD, breaks down how the body may respond and what’s just a myth.

Q: Can your heart skip a beat?

A: Most likely, no.

While it’s nearly impossible to track this in a medical study, Chupurdia says it’s very unlikely someone experiences arrhythmia upon feeling love. Arrhythmia is a medical condition that produces an abnormal heart rhythm (either too fast or slow) and is often caused by things like heart attack, damaged heart tissue, heart structure abnormalities or high blood pressure.

While it may feel like your heart skips a beat, it’s more likely just beating fast as your nervous system activates, she explains. The nervous system is the body’s command center and responsible for sending signals between the brain and other parts of the body. A sudden rush of emotion could cause excitement or anxiety, resulting in an increased heart rate.

Q: Can love cause a chemical rush?

A: Yes.

A study examined by the American Psychological Association shows how the brain activates when people are asked to talk or think about love, Chupurdia says. The part that activates — the midbrain — is the same area associated with basic human needs and our internal reward system.

As this area activates, chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline are released, all of which can lead to different physical sensations. If released at the same time, that could be an especially euphoric sensation, Chupurdia adds.

Many of these chemicals are also associated with the brain’s reward circuit. As your body produces them, it wants to repeat the process — developing even stronger feelings of love over time. The same study also indicated there was greater brain activity related to this pathway when participants were asked to think about a long-term romantic partner compared to a close family member.

These chemicals and the reward circuit they activate may also be the source of obsessive thoughts or tendencies people experience, especially early in a relationship. Or could even explain why pet owners find themselves constantly thinking or talking about their pet.

Q: Can love make you sweat?

A: Yes.

Just like the nervous system can increase your heart rate, it can also activate your fight-or-flight response as you walk into a date, resulting in clamminess, sweating or anxiety, Chupurdia explains.

On the other side of love — such as what you feel for family or a pet — if you’re worried about them, it could also induce that fight-or-flight response and make you clammy.

Q: Does love impact stress?

A: Yes, both good and bad.

In the early stages of a relationship, you’re more likely to have a hard time settling down and getting good sleep because of heightened anxiety, a racing heart or constantly thinking about the other person, Chupurdia says.

As dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline levels spike, serotonin drops, which is important in regulating mood, anxiety and depression and can leave you feeling more angsty or nervous, she adds.

On the opposite end, people who have been in long, happy relationships or feel constant, long-lasting love from friends, family or pets may feel more calm or secure, Chupurdia explains.

“Once you’ve been in love longer, you have less of that reward system going,” she says. “Instead, more cognitive parts of the brain are being activated … like finishing sentences and being more in tune with someone else.”

Q: Can love improve your mental health?

A: Yes. 

“We know that when kids don’t have that feeling of being loved, it can be traumatic for them, lowering feelings of self-esteem and worth,” Chupurdia says. “As adults, we can be the same way.”

When people don’t feel lovable, it can lead to serious changes in how they feel about themselves and others, and they may withdraw.

Looking at what areas of the brain activate when thinking and speaking about love, we know it’s as basic a human need as quenching a thirst, she says.

Q: Can love improve your overall health?

A: Yes.

While the exact reasons are unknown, Chupurdia says there’s evidence that people in long-term relationships live longer.

The mind-body connection — the positive physical impact of lower stress and anxiety levels — could be one reason, she adds.

Additionally, some researchers theorize that living with or holding close relationships with people you love can remind you to take care of yourself, be a source of physical support if injured, or encourage adoption of healthy behaviors as others do the same.